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le meta?

I'm sure many of you heard this story before or lived through it or you know someone who went through it....a9el fa9el...mo min mowakethena bullshit (sorry to me it's all bullshit) because it's not even part of our religion!

I'm writing this post because I'm kind of upset over a friend of mine...She's in love with a great guy and everything seemed to be going well with them until his family were questioning "a9elha"
Albint eth-haba o ahala lo ye7almon min alyoum le bacher they won't find someone like her but they totally over looked how amazing she is, how wonderful her family is and all they could come up with is her family name!

My friend case wasn't the first I heard of...I know so many girls who either their family think "elme3res" mo min mowakethom or vise versa.
we goloon laish fe wayed 3awans bel AlKuwait!

I wonder how much longer would it take to change such mentality? Will our generation change things or the cycle will keep going?

Jelly love, this mentality will never change, I think. It seems that people from our generation who have been thru this experience tend to stop fighting after a while and actually agree to what their parents beleive in.

Umm..

No really, I dunno what to say

It will change once it becomes legal to marry without your parents consent.

It is the laws but mostly it's how young people can't afford it financially

Jelly Belly, :*
I know I'm late..
ma yshoof shar elwaled

ًHi there JB :*
Slamat ur dad I just knew! Im sorry for the delay...

As for the stupid mentality, it grew in our culture long ago! more than the age of our religion, nowadays I see a limmited number of people braking that barrier but most are not! Personally i too think its stupid if a person is good then what is the need to get the family involved?

not sure about kuwait, but it has started to change in bahrain.. it's still there, but not as bad as before.

JB

Can't blame the folks. The culture of the country is based on who you are.

individuals turn to the family to rise-up in the society.

This is unfortunate but a fact.

what to do?

JellyBelly,

I totally can relate to your post.
I'm not a Kuwaiti, but I did befriend Kuwaitis, back when I was in college. I thought they were educated, smart, and nevertheless opinionated about this issue. I was appalled and stricken once they viewed and explained to me (for the first time) about how bad to marry a non-a9el man, since they were considered to be of high standard (or a9eleen). I never did get acquainted with such people who think this way. I was really annoyed by their shallow notion. I really tried to change the way they viewed this issue, maybe even just make them realize that this profanity does not exist in Islam. I even dug out verses from the Qur'an and Ahadeeth related to this issue, but with no use. I really cannot believe that this issue has been wedged into their heads ever since they were kids! I would be really ashamed if my parents made us think this way. Allah e3eenkom.
I just want to note something, out of the 3 kuwaiti girls I knew, one of them was totally against it. I hope most of Kuwait (and maybe other countries as well) wipe out this idea and maybe start a propagation amongst young generations, against this whole "A9el" matter.

oh God..they do that in Kuwait too?!
all I know is that will never change.
not for anytime or any country:F

It’s a double edge sword with all whats going on in q8 now and with all the ppl we don’t know where the hell they came from controlling our country in every aspect. We have to stick together (general Statement)
On the other hand each case should considered these issues on case by case bases. I personally if I find the person well brought up and educated we should not look over those factors.
JB
The question is are marrying the person or the person and his or her family?
Last but not least since JB recommends her then he will be stupid not to marry her
for you who said that you cant believe this thing happens in q8 it happens everywhere..

Shopa: You know shopa a lot of my friends cave in to their parents wishes some ended up with happy marriages and others are just miserable...Some parents do know what's best for their daughter and others don't...but the way I feel about is it's a personal choice...I want to make that decision not my parents...yes I want to hear what they have to say but the final call is up to me. ma adree this is my personal feelings toward this subject.

Papi: hahahahaha, we had this talk before...I know your feelings :*

Shosho: the laws should be changed, I remember I had a conversation with a friend who's a lawyer that told me she knows many cases where couples leave for another country to get married and once they are back, her family have the authority to divorce her from her husband! I mean come on this is just too much and things should be changed.

Shurouq: I agree with you that marriage is huge financial burden but I think if the couple are old enough with careers I don't see why they can't be financially independent from their families?
o alshar ma eyeech 7abebty :*

QCG: allah yesalmich 7abebty don't worry about it :*
I missed you walla it has been a while since I saw you around...hope everything is going well with you? :*
I'm glad that there are more and more people who are breaking that barrier and if the couple are compatable then they should have the blessing from their families not the opposite.

MSB: I know there are changes in Bahrain so is in Kuwait but very small but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be hopeful that things will get better inshallah :)
My cousin in Bahrain broke the barrier and she is happily married to someone that her family were not so happy with at first but know they just adore him.

Estech: I'm not denying that we are a tribal society and a lot people debend on their families to back them up...bas ma adree ya estech it seems like 7ata alzawaj 9ar ma9la7a if that's the case.

nonnah: I totally agree with you that our religion has nothing to do with this and I hope things will change in the area but I have to say not everyone in Kuwait think that way and as mosan said you can find this problem all over. Inshallah things will change in our life time. Oh and welcome to my blog dear :)

Rimyoleta: I’m afraid dear it’s all over :)

mosan: ana weyak fee wayed nass edkhalaw 3ala mojtama3na o ahal aldeera should stick together bas what pisses me off really is when I see a friend of mine who comes from a good family bas mo “neyada” get treated that way! Yes, it is true when you get married in Kuwait the girl not only get married to her husband but the entire family…it’s just I wish if his family did some research before judging her because they think their family names are not compatible!

Too bad you had to come up with this subject on my birthday =/

oh i haaaaatehatehatehateHATE that shit so much. thank God my parents don't see it that way.. bes im worried his parents will. but i don't think they will.

the way i see it is, chithee wala chithaak, we're all kuwaitis. illi naydi, illi bedoon, illi a9eel, illi mo a9eel, we're all freakin Kuwaitis.

oo anqihir even more when the two people are in love :( 7aram walla, hatha n9eeb and they found eachother oo yi7iboon ba3ath (which is a big big thing) oo they can't be together cuz "WEE MIN BINTA INSHALLAHHHH LAYKOON BES MO A9ELA?!" yuba kiss my freakin ass. its only the 3ayayiz that think that way walla..

i dealt with that the other day, yadditi was asking about my significant other and she didn't even ask how he treated me, how he makes me feel, where he works, whats he like - la, 3ala6ool: "mino wilda?" which is okay to ask, but when i answered her she said "wee il7mdilla, a9eel. ma nabi wa7id moo a9eeel!"
"bes yumma uhwa moo jami3i.. he just works with a high school degree"
"ma 3alaih, ilmuhim inna a9eel"

:P welcome to kuwait 7abeebti. some things will never change. your friends should just run away and elope!

Nowadays, its just an excuse.

NuNu: Sorry 7abebty, I'll delete the post if you want? :*

fwai7: I know what you mean 7abebty, sometimes lel asaf family name is more important to them than if the man will make their daughter happy...ma agol ila inshallah things will change for the better :)

I Live in Q8: hmmm an excuse for what? I'm not so sure I got what you're saying? :)

" موازين الرجال:
لو قلت للفرنسي : فلان عظيم ... قال لك : ماهي شهاداته؟

.. والإنجليزي يقول : ماهي معلوماته ؟

.. والألماني يقول :ماهي أعماله ؟

.. والأمريكي يقول : ماهي آثاره ؟

..والشرقي يقول : من أبـــــــــوه ؟

"


this is the way it goes !!

Mother Courage: lel asaf that's true...bas chan zain they replace min obooh bel soma3a al6ayba.

9adgeeni I share your frustration with this FUCKED UP mentality! in saudi we have the same problem except i think it might actually be WORSE! wsh rayek ana weyyak w aaaall the 5aleeji girls that face this problem ngool "you know what? fuck all of u, mn zeenkom!" and go off and find our selves some HOT mediterranean guys to marry... sound good? :D

safana: First of all welcome to my blog dear and your idea sounds very tempting but lel asaf I love my Kuwaiti men and let's just hope things will change in the entire region.

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