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I'll be missing you...

Dear 7aboba,

I heard you are no longer with us…all I could think of is the last time I spoke to you was on Eid…you sounded OK to me…I know I ended the phone call too quick when you started asking me when I’ll be back home…I was upset with you when you mentioned if you’ll ever see me again…you had a feeling that we wont see each other again in this life…I know (almoot 7ag) and you have lived a long and a beautiful life but I’m selfish, I wanted you to live longer…to see me married with kids…

7aboba I will always remember the stories you used to tell me…you were a young Iraqi woman…married to a young Bahraini merchant…you lived in India…ooh the stories you had on India…the Kuwaiti/Bahraini families you met there…how you learned the language and spoke it fluently…I used to ask you to teach me a little Urdu but you never did…I know why…you and mom would always gossip in Urdu…but you never knew I understood what you said :)
I admire you for being so strong and independent…your daughters married Kuwaiti men…and your only son married an English woman…you lived alone in a house with no one to help you…you cleaned and did your own cooking…you were always strong and very stubborn…I think that’s the Iraqi blood in you…you were very tough on us…but you loved us dearly…I will always remember your cooking…I will miss your famous marag bamya (okra)…I wished I learned how to cook as good as you did.

7aboba you made me laugh the last time I saw you…you accused me of having an American boyfriend…you were so sure that was the reason why I’m still in America…you even had a name for him (John) LOL
as a joke I went along with you and told you he was tall, dark and handsome…you told me he has to be a Muslim or you wont approve of him :)

7aboba this letter is so hard to write, my eyes are full of tears…last month my uncle passed away and now it’s you…it’s hard to take this pain right now…
I don’t know how I’ll ever be going to Bahrain and knowing you’re not there…it’s gonna be really hard for me to do that…you were the only reason that I went there…I will miss you dearly 7aboba…I love you and I’m sorry I didn’t get the chance to tell you that in our last phone call…you are by far the greatest woman I ever met.

Your grand-daughter.

This is the wedding picture of my grandparents (R.I.P) taken in the early 1930's in Baghdad. Posted by Hello

3atham allah ajrech..

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Love your post

Its nice that u celebrate ur grandma's life..

damn .. It was moving..

Its like foreshadowing for me..

We all will go through such times.. Tegaway .. Oo always remember her.. especially the pic.. masterpiece

Denya Dawara

My deepest condolences.

Such a lovely way to release your sadness. I wish for your grandmother’s strength and independence to run through your blood.

I feel for you jellyBelly
my condolences; and may she rest in peace.
stay strong dear,

3a6'mallah ajrich...

I feel ur pain, my uncle died, and soon after another uncle then within the same month a cousin.. its hard.. u feel ok, then its like another slap in the face..whats worse is that u realize how short life can be.. im sorry ur in pain.. please let me know if u need anything ok?

u brought me to tears.. *hugz*

3atham Allah ajrich

beautiful photo

3atham allah ajrech JellyBelly. Allh yer7amha.
Beautifully written. Lovely photo; thank you for sharing this story and your feelings with us.

May she rest in peace.

evildewer: ajerna o ajerich..thank you.

مبتدئ:I did wanna celebrate her life...she's my role model...she has always been a strong woman and I shall always admire that...thank you for your sweet words dear.

noony: thank you dear and that's one of the best wishes I got...if I only can be as half as strong as she was...I will be a happy woman...she always spoke her mind and I have always admired her for that.

UZF: I will try my best to stay strong dear..although at many times I feel my emotions get the best out of me...bas al7emdallah hatha 7al aldenya...no one lives forever...thank you for your concerns dear.

Kuwaiti Femme: ajerna o ajerich dear...and I'm sorry to hear about your loss...it's always hard to lose someone when you are far away from family...all I could think of is my parents now...they've reached an age where i feel they need me and it's time for me to go home and be by their side...thank you for your concerns...I swear it means a lot.

Bo Jaij: ajerna o ajerik dear...thank you...this is one of my favorite photos I have of my grandparents...I have some when they were in India but for some reason I have always loved this one more than the others...

Jewaira: ajerna o ajerich 7abebety...thank you...it's very simple words I wrote in a emotional moment...I guess this is my way of therapy and to deal with my pain...I don't think I wanna get back on my prozac...all of you guys are my online support group if I could say that...it helps me just to share whatever feelings I have inside of me...so bare with my emotional drama...I certainly appreciate your support.

True Faith: thanks dear.

galbi ma3ach

3adham allah ajrech

3atham allah ajrich JB
It's great to have a grandma like her .. Allah yer7mha

Your prayers will reach her , she can hear you..

Dear JB
Your words brought tears to my eyes, I share the same experience with you, my grandmother raised me, she was my second mother, and she was very healthy and strong and passed away when I was abroad. That angered me so much that for years I did not cry, and when I finally did I never stopped. Cry sweetie, wash your soul, she is with you after all.
This is a poem I wrote for her
just in case you need some help crying :)
3atham allah ajrich 7abeebti, c, est la vie

JB, sweetie.. you have been through allot, but you know that you can come to us anytime you need a big virtual hug!! we're here for you..

Like you said, your granny had a wonderful life, filled with adventures and stories that most of us read about in books.. May she rest in peace..

one thing that most people tend to do.. do not blame your self for anything.. don't try to put your self down, bil3aks, be happy that she had a great life and went out without any suffering.. I am sure she loves you.. after al,l you're a Jelly Belly.. :)

3atham alla ajrich JB, o that was very beautifully written!

Elbuga brasich 7abeebti
That was very moving

Our hearts are with you.

حبيبتي آخر الاحزان يا رب الله يرحمها و يسكنها فسيح جناته
عظم الله اجرج حبيبتي انتي
جيلي حبيبتي اذا اهيا كانت السبب الوحيد انج اتزورين البحرين حبيبتي الحين راح اتسيرلج السبب الاقوى انج تجتهدين في حياتج و تبيضين ويها
دامها كانت قويه عليكم هذا اهوا الشي الي اهيا تتمناه منج
جيلي حبيبتي
جدتج فخوره فيج و ماعندي شك
حبيبتي هذي لمه مني ، هذا امر الدنيا و امر ربج و نعم بالله

I'm so sorry baby *hugs* 3atham Allah ajrich... If you ever need to talk or anything, I'm here for you sweety. We're all here for you. Like Ayya said, cry and cry some more till no more tears come. After that, don't be sad, but celebrate your grandmother's life. She wouldn't want you to be unhappy and neither do we.

Grandma's are so special.I lost my last one last June.Somehow we always believe they will always be there......I'm so sorry,JB.

3atham allah ajrech dear , oo inshallah etkoon hal ayam akher a7zanich ya rab

3atham allah ajrich..

wow.. made me think of my grandmother, i havent seen her in years.. i always avoid going to visit her in the summer in egypt.. 5 years now..

i hope you are doing ok.. my blessings to you and your family

Just checking on you dear, are you ok?

estech: Ajerna o ajerik...thank you dear.

bora bora: Ajerna o ajerich...I have been praying for her...inshallah mathwaha aljana...thank you dear.

Ayya: 7abebty wallah...your beautiful poem made me cry...it was very moving and touching...I will cherish the memory I have of her...al7emdallah...I think I'm doing much better now...it's just has been hard on me for a while but I'm taking it one day at a time...al7emdallah I have the support of friends and family and you guys and that's truly a blessing by it self...thank you for being there for me :*

Don: my dear Don...you are one of greatest people I met on the blog world...thank you for your concerns and your support...it truly means a lot to me...it was hard at first I did feel guilty...I was questioning myself for not calling her more...it was hard to call her...coz she always brought up the subject of death and if she'll ever see me again...and I hated to hear that...I didn't want to believe that...but I do believe she lived a long and a beautiful life and I should be at peace with her death...I know she would've hated to live longer and be dependent on others...she has always been a woman who never needed anyones help.
again Don...Thank you :)

Q: Ajerna o ajerik dear...thank you for your sweet words :)

Shurouq: mashkoora 7abebty o ma ga9arty :*

nooni: Ameen ya rab...o ajerna o ajerich...mashkora 7abebty for everything and I'm doing my best to work harder and get done...allah ye9aberni wegaweni inshallah :*

D&G: Ajerna o ajerich 7abebty...thank you for the hug...I am doing better now...and thank you for your support it sure means a lot to me :*

Christina: I'm sorry for your loss sweetie..and thank you :)

mydream: Ajerna o ajerich 7abebty...o ameen ya rab...mashkora ya galbi.

Snookie: Ajerna o ajerich 7abebety...and about your grandmother...I think you should visit her...I remember when I used to go home for Christmas breaks...I used to complain that I don't want to devide my break between Bahrain and Kuwait...but only now I understand how much I valued the few days I had with her every break...she used to tell me allah yer7amaha...la7ga 3ala rab3ich...and that's so true..so I urge you snookie...to take some time off from your break and pay her a visit...believe me you'll cherish those visits later in your life.

Ayya: 7abebety intay wallah...al7emdallah I'm doing much better...today is the weekend and I'm planning to go out...I have been avoiding my friends since I got back from my spring break...but I think it's time to go out and get out from my isolation...I know I needed some time out from everyone and everything but I think I'm doing better now...al7emdallah...thanks honey for checking :*

Jelly- I know I am reading this post a bit late. 3atham Allah Ajjrich, I am very sorry for your loss. Believe me, I know how you feel.
Take care,
Ms baker

msbaker: Ajerna o ajerich 7abebety...thank you dear and don't worry about being late...thanks again :)

You've got a definate touch here, Jelly, it's such powerful and moving peice of art. You made me remember a partition whici I've wrote in my first ever english-tongued story in my life. The partiton--the first in between three other stories--called My Grandma..I've named my story Echoes, and you've done such echoes me to hear, me to be trempling...

Al: thanks for your beautiful words...it was really hard to go through what I went through but I felt so much better after writing down my feelings...it is therapeutic for me :)

yea..i think i can understand you pretty well, but anyhow, that's the very grace of writing: transfering our agony, sadness, grief into words can make people feel esctazy out of it, whatever it says, but the maject is in the style, the genteel feeling behind the vocs choosing..and you did that just amazingly


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