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Changes

One of my good friends is visiting from Kuwait, her family lives here but she decided to go to the “home land” to work there and rediscover her Kuwaiti side (she’s half American) I warned her that things will be different there, I told her it’s not like going home for a short break during Christmas time...I explained to her that she’ll be interacting with more people from different backgrounds and different ideologies…she accepted all the risks and she was hoping while she’s there she’ll find Mr. Perfect who’ll meet her dad standards in a man and make him happy…this girl lives for her family and all she wants to do is to make her parents proud of her…but since she went back she changed a lot…she was this vibrant, funny, full of life kind of person and she came back someone else! It felt like someone sucked all the life out of her…she was stressed from her very demanding job…over worked and very under appreciated…she was surprised how people think of her in terms of her mom being American so they just assume she must be “too free” and that’s totally not the case…she was surprised how always people asked about her family name and what it means to have “A FAMILY NAME” in Kuwait…she had no clue about all these things before she went back…she was telling me how people butt into her business and they wont stop asking her questions…why do you talk with a funny accent…why are your eyes colored…why why why…man why can’t people mind their own fucking business!
she looked very confused when I saw her...I reminded her of all the good time we had together before she left to Kuwait and I reminded her of her old self…I wanted her to go back to the person I know…I really want to see her happy…her mom wants her to stay and find a job here or maybe work on her Masters Degree but her dad is hopping that she will settle in Kuwait and get married…I can see how confusing things could be for her…I just pray she’ll find happiness…she's an amazing person and I wish her well.

Extremly sad...and very common...I hope your friend will keep whatever left from her old self

About the family name issue here...a friend of mine from an extremly well known Kuwaiti family...half american..been living here in Q8 for the past 15 years....just few months ago he was in a bank here and after he mentioned his name...some girl "offered him a friendly advice" to change his name because " You are not kuwaiti and using the name of a big Kuwaiti family will cause you trouble ". When he showed her his ID...she just turned red and gave him a list of the names of people she knows from his family ( suddenly she knows everyone and loves them all )....

This is a sickeness here in Kuwait...They judge and declare a sentence on a person just by how he or she "looks"...if you have blue eyes...you cant be Q8y..your mom is not Q8y...you are a slut

Disgusting and I will deal with this issue on my blog one day ( da3aya )

Jelly Belly:
When I read your post, I thought the girl was me (excluding the american mother part)

Being in kuwait does that to you, and i do find myself struggling to regain the 'old' me that has been lost into some of the social BS over here.
People are overly obsessed with family names and work conditions can be emotionally draining..but we gotta keep up the good attitude and work with it I guess.
don't ask me how, I'm still teasing myself with long vacations back to the states every chance i get, obviously i didn't figure it out yet!

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All I can say is:
Hathi lekwauit sal 3ala alnibi

hey babe i think i know who ur talkin bout.... n im sooo sad she has changed so much.... i wish she knew better n did not let q8 change her the way it did she was such an amazing gorgeous person body mind n soul before she went n i feel that our country has warped her in some way... maybe as a so called outsider she feels that she must adapt n doesn't realize that many of us can adapt without changin who we are... i hope here stay here can make her realize who she really is and was and maybe just maybe she can return to that...anyways babe hope all is goin well n ill talk to u soon ciao for now

This sort of thing happens everywhere in the Khaleej... I'm from Bahrain and we get all sorts of madness here... all you need is a little money and a fake character... I feel this has to do with our culture being so restricted... if I may...

http://bahrainirants.blogspot.com/2004/12/one-track-mind.html

Bella Jella, You should give that advice to your self.. You'll be facing a reverse culture shock as well..

Bo Jaij... your friend should've slapped that ignorant bitch!

JB,

I am still in shock, and don't know what to do.

I want to go back but my parents won't allow me.

:"(

Oh jello bella , why did she changed !! lazem tet7emal qararat'ha... but regarding to what happened to her i dont know why you can be stressed when your plane land in kuwait airpot...don't you agree..

bo-jaij ee walla zaydoon ma3ah 7ag ,,he should've ignored her its the best way to treat thise kuwaiti air heads

and jello if she think she will meet mr. right in kuwait tell her she will never find him in kuwait with those kuwaiti attitude out there unless through the blog o sphere which has alot of great kuwaiti guys.

Gurl let her go back and get married from a muslim american khal testanas shallah 7adha 3ala hal rabruba.

We face and suffer from this kind of treatment almost on a daily basis and we have always lived here.
It is not easy to deal with this kind of discrimination and it is a bit unfair of your friend's father to expect her to come back and adjust.
You can try and be strong and say you don't care but in reality there are only a select few who are 'accepted'
If your friend wants to come back and give it another try, perhaps she should try to find some like-minded friends.
In addition, if you don't set your expectations too high and you're willing to be flexible, there is a place for everyone here

Bo_Jaij: it is sad and I'm working on reminding her of her old self...and about your friend...it drives me crazy when I hear stories like that...how can you judge a person by their family name?!
that chick was a gold digger...maskeena she is sick!
you know it reminded me of a story of a friend of mine...the guy mashallah 3aleeh he's very well off and this chick that I know was hitting on him and trying to get his attention...for his birthday she got him gifts worth about $1500 and she was expecting a lot on her birthday...you know what he got her? a greeting card!! LOL I love what he did coz he knew she was only after him for his family name and money!

Luminous: I'm glad you're trying to work hard not to lose yourself in this crazy society...and sweetie if you need a break please take it otherwise you'll lose your mind! Hang in there :)

Ayya: I'm still not so used to the new nick name but I'll try...hahahahaha...ee wallah hathi al kuwait 9al 3ala alnebi.

QBL: Yes, you know her very well and you were the first one to point out her changes when you saw her last summer...and yes she yet to master the techniques of adapting without changing...me and you grew up there and we know how things are but for her it's completely different...she only saw Kuwait when she visits during summer and Christmas break...and her idea of adapting is to please everyone else around her except her self...I just hope she'll realize the changes that she needs to do in order to gain her old self back.

Bahraini Rants: 7ayallah weld alkhal...hahahahaha I'm so happy to have someone from Bahrain commenting on my blog :)
and yes I do agree it happens all around not only in Kuwait bas e7ana 3indena bel alKuwait eb zooda...they are obsessed about family names…you can't even imagine!
and thanks dear for the link to your blog I will check it out :)

Don: I am mentally prepared for it...I know it's gonna be extremely hard for me when I finally get back...but in my case I came from there and I had to live through it all my life...it's not like my friend who grew up in the states and didn't expect the things she saw in Kuwait.

Zaydoun: if he's gonna slap her and her mara7 yekhale9...this kind of mentality is among a lot of girls back home lel asaf!
akthar min banat they actually plan on how to get to a certain guy by acting that her car broke down on her wala checking their bank accounts wala wala wala...ishbetkhalee o shebtgool!

and by the way I'm not saying that all Kuwaiti women are like that because there are many other decent women who only see a man for his character...bas alkhair yekhe9 o alshar ye3em!

nooni: she wants to make her dad happy and she's hopping she'll find someone that will meet her dad standards...mashallah tegadmolaha wayed bas I'm so glad she said no coz I kept telling her to never be a sellout to herself...if she feels just for a second that the guy doesn't meet her standards then she should say no....bas I know ehya she wants to find a good Kuwaiti man who'll treat her with the respect she deserves...don't we all look for that? :)

Jewaira: I know her dad was always tough on her…especially raising a daughter in the states...he always had a set of rules that she always followed and as I said she only wants to make him happy...even if it means it would make her unhappy sometimes...I'm not saying her dad is a bad father bel3akes he's a concerned father who only wants to see what's best for his daughter...bas you said a very important thing...she didn't find the right friends in Kuwait...she needs people who'll keep her in check and remind her it's ok to be herself.

To be honest with you I’m not used to it myself LOL

I hate that so much & i am extremlly sad & sorry that she had to go through all of this.

two things kill me here: Questions & elneya elsheina!

they bug into ur life in a weird way!! they ask you about every thing in ur life even if they dont know you & dont have the right toask! I was shocked when I first got my job it was crazy I mean they ask you for even the flesh under ur nails is it pink or white!

The bad intention thing, ppl here always assume u have an intention & a bad one to be more precise even if you raise your hand waving a "thank you" to some one who let u pass infront of them they would think ur flirting !! if they didnt then the ppl around you do & they look at you in a sick way as if ur a ... bad person!!

Its so sad ,, well either she stays at the states or when she comes to Kuwait she should adjust to it & make fun of it, because the comunity is sick if you live with a serious brain wanting to correct all the errors around you u will get tired & it will be no use, live life the way you want learn how to laugh on the silly ppl that u meet & learn to use the word

" MADRI *I don't know* "

very often so that ppl would go like : oh this is the "madri" girl dont bother & ask her

Ayya: is this a temporary nick name? or do we have to get used to it? :P

QCG: you're right honey sometimes we gotta play dumb and just say I don't know...bas ana I know I might lose my cool and snap at someone if they keep on asking...almishkila she's still not used to the system per se but I'm hopping if she decides to go back home she'll be stronger.

Do u still think I'm wrong about not wanting to live here? ;)

Peach: beeh peach you're taking me back to one of my first posts and our little discussion about living in Kuwait...I still believe in living there...I know I will always be an optimist and I know I will make some minor changes in my own little way...coz people like us should never give up! I hope peach you'll have that kind of hope...coz Kuwait needs us :)

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