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To go or not to go?

I can’t believe that Christmas is around the corner and it’s that time of the year where everyone goes back home to see their loved ones. Some of you may already know that I’m in the States and I haven’t been back to Kuwait for almost 3 years now. I have to say it has been taking its toll one me lately. I do miss my family and friends yet I don’t want to go through the usual questioning; when do you graduate? How long have you been in the states? What the hell are you still doing there?
What’s even worse to see my dads disappointment in me, it breaks my heart to feel I’m the failure in the family especially I’m the only daughter. The thing is I have cleaned up my act for the past year and I have been doing well in school al7emdallah, but I guess that came too late and I don’t want to explain myself to everyone. My question is do you think I should go back this Christmas and try to ignore everyone or just stick it out and wait until I graduate and go back home for good? I ‘m lost : (

I'd say: go, go, goooooooo, with your head up high. Take your grades with you to show your dad how much progress you have made, and be honest with your immediate family about your plans. And you don't have to explain yourself to others when they poke their noses into your life. I find it polite to ask another question when others ask me a question that I do not want to answer. If you can't come up with a question; simply ask: why do you wana know?
Whatever you do, do not let them get into you, and remember it's never too late. Good luck

Your Xmas visit could be a warm-up to ease you into permanent life back into Kuwait

It depends on how u feel .. if u really want to come bk for a while then it really shouldn't matter to u what they say .. I second Rabab on that :) but if u don't really feel like it .. than by all means .. stay and have a ball ;) the most important thing is that ur doing ok in school .. don't let anyone take that away from u .. not even ur self .. beleive me .. i hear u .. i went to the states for a year and i quit .. came bk and from one place to another untill i found my self in a godforsaken ma3had .. and now lord be praised i'm almost done .. u think i didn't disappoint my mom and dad? big time .. specially my mom .. but in the end .. it's me that got effected the most .. not my dad .. not my mom .. me! now everybody sees that i'm doing ok and there off my bk :) what more? i'm planning on useing my ma3had diploma as a stepping stone for something better inshallah .. i'm not quiting yet .. i am not a disapointment .. and since ur still out there i know ur not either .. tip: when ever i feel like i can't hold a book anymore .. I stand infront of the mirror and look deep into my own eyes and I talk to myself "don't do this kid .. pull urself together .. focus ..just one more time .. come one kid do it for me please" that pleading look in my own eyes gets me going every time :) Go ahead try it .. it's amazing lol and the answer for ur question again .. is do exactly what u want to do .. no one can decide for u, what u want goes .. f*** the rest .. & excuse my frensh :)

Well i will try to make it short since i feel that i might get sick inshallah not..

* Do what YOU want :}, if u miss the family go back its only a short while be patient & SMART oO u'll b just fine ;]

* I second Rabab, you have a thing to b prowd of so go & show it off

* I second Z :}, since u eventually will b back here so come & smell the world here so it wouldnt be so hard on u (it will b hard if u like living in the states), & some time off is always good


Last but not least, its not who laughs long its who laughs last that becomes the winner :}

And you think it’ll end when you graduate and come home?? No no, no no… when are you going to start working, then when are you gonna get married, then when are you gonna have kids.. shall I go on ??

so if you’re dreading the questions, then you’ll have a problem all your life.. try not to get emotionally effected by it, and come home.. oh and also, be prepared for the reverse culture shock.. it’s bad.. and even worse when you move back for good.. I know that for sure… so heads up there !! I hope that wasn’t scary :P

First of all I’d like to thank everyone for your comments; honestly I kind of got emotional.

Rabab: I have been keeping my parents posted with my school work and it kind of hurts that I don’t hear the excitement in their voices anymore. I guess it’s my fault, they lost hope in me and I don’t think they’ll be happy until I finally get my ass back home with my degree. I really want to go home to see my family, since my last visit my brother got married and has a baby. I only saw my nephew in pictures and I can’t wait to see him. I have been buying a lot of baby toys and clothes for my nephew I guess deep inside I have decided I want to go back to see him.

Zaydoun: everyone keeps telling me that I need to see the changes in Kuwait and it is a culture shock. I’m kind of scared on what to expect. So allah yaster!

Peach: I love your attitude and I love that you are not a quitter. I am glad that you are working on your degree and I could relate to everything you said. My dad always told me ana mo dayem lekom so what you do in life will affect you more than anyone else. Almishkila my dad doesn’t say he’s disappointed in me, he’s silence is killing me. I wish if he could tell me. The thing is I think he never thought he’s only daughter would be the failure in the family. I have always been the A student in the house. Even when I first came to the states I was on the deans list. Bas for reasons I rather not talk about now I went from an A student to F student. Bas I guess he lost hope in me. I want him to be proud of me again, I guess that’s why I’m dreading my trip back home. I think I have to talk to him and see what he’ll say. Wish me luck!

Q80-Chill girl: Salamat 7abebty o ma etshofeen shar. Thanks for the boost of confidence, I know I wanna go back o inshallah I have the courage in me to face people without being ashamed of anything I have done in my past. It’s gonna be hard to go back especially when you got yourself used to a certain lifestyle that you are comfortable with. So again allah yaster!

TheDon: Yes that was scary! Believe me Don I know the questioning won’t end there. All my friends who went back told me what they had to go through. I hear them complain all the time. Especially being a girl who is 26 still in the states working on her degree…tick tock tick tock…I’m not only a failure in their eyes I became an old maid too!! LOL I find it sad yet so funny. I’m sure some of us went through this, when you’re in the states you long to be home with your family and friends and when you are home you miss your life in the states! I always get that feeling. So we’ll see what’s gonna happen.

I will talk to my parents that I want to come back home for Christmas and I will let you know what their reply would be. So wish me luck everyone and thanks again for your support. :)

You will hate it here!!...three days max and you will regret the moment you decided to come here during X-mas...been in the exact situation you are in now...if you really miss your family and friends then meet them in a different place other than Kuwait....the pressure they will put on you and the suffocating feeling of little old Kuwait will drive you mad..to say the least

Do your self a favor...save your ticket money to Q8 and go to vegas or do some serious X-mas shopping....Kuwait will always be here...and your family as you said already have negative feelings toward you...dont make it worse..just do what you have to do and then go home when you are "really" ready...and if you have decided to ask strangers in your blog for help in this matter..you are surely NOT ready....

OUCH!

Sorry Mr/Miss anonymous, I have to disagree with you. Sometimes I do feel we exaggerate how bad things are in Kuwait. I love my country no matter how shitty things turn up to be. I do miss my family and when I posted the question I just wanted the push or the courage maybe to ask my parents. Inshallah when the day comes and I graduate and go back home for good. I hope I wont be one of those whiners and complain about everything in Kuwait. Yes, things may not be so great bas I know we have it much better than others. al7emdallah.

Jelly Belly: come back....3a6eihom 6af tara etha kentay betshielin 7emel kel question ma ra7 et'7al9ien...when u'll finish your education?when u'll get married? when r u going to get a baby? meta ra7 etyeibin a'7o 7ag bentich? ma ra7 et'7al9ien bas always answer them back NON OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS....then by the time they'll understand the lesson...come back

خرعتيني على بالي داخله على بلوغي
تعوذي ما ابليس و تعالي
و عطيهم طاف كلهم اللي فيهم بلاغة شف ما تخلص

Dear JB
It seems, if I am still able to count correctly, there is a majority vote for you to come back. I add my vote to them. Your fears are real. I have gone through them so many times i care to remember. I have been nervous of family and friends discussing my failure and family feuds...etc, however I had to face them eventually. They will not chop off your head. Feel comfortable with what you are and what you have achieved. Anybody asks you about something you do not wish to discuss, brush them off, Politely, as I am sure you do not want to make enimies, that will happen regardless of your politeness. Outcome of this? you will feel at ease with yourself. You will see them eventually, it's inevitable. I can tell you what happened in my case. After each time I had a dreaded encounter, I felt a wieght has been lifted of my shoulder. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Besides it will be good exercise to train you for what you are going to be facing should you decide to come back and live here for good.

Yes, Nano is right the Bala'3at el Shaf and nose poking will never stop, even when you are married and with kids and grand kids. You have to learn to live with it, and develop your system, or weapon to deal with it.

you'll do fine kid :) don't worry about it ;)
and i'm sure ur dad does understand and is pround of u .. I am, and I hardly know u .. so how do u think ur dad feels :D

Thanks again you guys for your support. I didn’t get the chance to call my parents yet. Bas inshallah this weekend I’ll find out for sure. I’ll keep you posted!

nanonano: First of all sorry sweetie for the confusion, I’m still experimenting with the templates for the blog. So far I like what I have, it’s very colorful and I like to think it is the closest to my personality. Please don’t think I’m a copy cat.
Going back to the subject, intay 9aja eb kil kilma gelteeha…alnas mara7 yasketon no matter what you do. Inshallah I’ll get the guts to face everyone.

Sky Walker: Hey my cheerleader, I got you the thick panty-hose, I just need you to try them on hahahaha…no seriously, I hate that people never butt out of your business; I guess I have to acquire special skills to brush them off. I think I have to learn how to out smart them with their questioning. Hmm or maybe I should use Rababs strategy and give them a taste of their own medicine. Whatever the case maybe I know I think I’m better off going back home. The more I think about it the more I feel the need for a break from everything I have been through for past 3 years. Will see how things will go.

Peach: I saw your comment on your blog about my nick name and that it reminds you of jelly beans, well jelly belly is a brand of jelly beans and that I happened to be addicted to LOL. I also like the nick name because I think of my belly as jelly…makes sense! Hahahahah or what I sometimes call it my “Buddha belly.”
I guess I better stop talking about my belly…hahahaha….thanks 7abebty for your confidence and reassurance in me. I know my dad will be proud of me one day again. I’ll work my ass off to get it back o inshallah things will be dandy again.

Anonymous
You are an anonymous, so you'd better stay that way. If you meant a word you said you would have said it without a mask.
Jelly Belly
Remember positive thinking?
Enough said :)

way to go Rabab .. I love how u tell off ppl who need to be told off :) I can never do that! lol

Anyways .. Jelly Bean listen to me (well read me) :P and do it carefully .. ur dad is proud .. he may not say it out loud .. but he can’t not be .. cuz he is your father after all .. and he can’t help but be proud of you no matter what u do .. be at peace about that when u talk to him .. ur confidence will help bring it out of him :)

And about the belly .. well between u and me *whispers* that’s another thing we have in common lol

Rabab: Thanks sweetie, I'm staying positive so far.

Peach: Thanks belly partner ;)

You guys are awesome.

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